Santa baby, just slip a sable under the tree for me
Been an awful good girl
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight
Santa: I’d love to – really – but unfortunately, most sable comes from Russia and, as you may have heard, there have been some, er, issues in that part of the world recently…
Santa baby, a ‘54 convertible too, light blue
I’ll wait up for you dear
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight
Santa: Not to be a killjoy but you might be waiting a while. There’s a global shortage of semiconductors. In Germany alone, there’s a backlog of a million cars yet to be produced. A nice bicycle instead, perhaps?
Think of all the fun I’ve missed
Think of all the fellas that I haven’t kissed
Next year I could be just as good
If you check off my Christmas list
Santa: Probably just as well you didn’t kiss all those fellas. You sound like a super spreader waiting to happen.
Santa baby, I want a yacht and really that’s not a lot
Been an angel all year
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight
Santa: OK, a yacht I can do. Just be careful if you decide to go on a jaunt down the Suez Canal…
Santa honey, one little thing I really need
The deed to a platinum mine
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight
Santa: OK, Russia only controls around 10% of the world’s platinum so that could work…
Santa cutie, fill my stocking with a duplex and checks
Sign your “X” on the line
Santa cutie, and hurry down the chimney tonight
Santa: With one proviso: make sure you don’t spend the checks for that duplex on furniture made in Belarusian penal colonies.
Come and trim my Christmas tree
With some decorations bought at Tiffany’s
I really do believe in you
Let’s see if you believe in me
Santa: Oh, I do, I do believe in you, but I also believe in global supply chain disruption…
Santa baby, forgot to mention one little thing
A ring, I don’t mean on the phone
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight
Hurry down the chimney tonight
Hurry, tonight
Santa: OK, OK! Wow, you don’t ask for much, do you!? Luckily for you, ol’ Santa got a letter from a charming-sounding chap named Gregor – I’ve put him on my nice list. He thought that I might run into some problems with supply chain disruption so he told me all about his company, Scoutbee, and how they can help me find new suppliers really quickly all over the world. Nifty idea, right?
So, maybe the convertible thing will work out after all. Actually quite fancy one myself – the reindeer are getting on a bit… Let me see what I can do. In the meantime, happy Christmas and here’s ho ho hoping that – with the help of Scoutbee – 2023 will be better for all of us!
